Thursday, October 9, 2014

Forever

Emma Williams
Mrs. Belden
Honors English I
15 October 2014
Forever

“Mason, Mason. Come on, wake up! It’s time for school.” Shouted Mason’s mom.
He didn’t answer. This is really odd. Thought his mom. She knocked on his door, then walked in when she didn’t hear anything. With her heart pounding, she walked over to Mason sleeping. She rolled him over to find him not breathing. She panicked.
“Ron! Call 9-1-1!” She screamed to her husband. He came running up the stairs to his room.
“What’s wrong?!” he asked. As soon as he saw his only son lying there, not breathing, he puked. He dialed 9-1-1. When they got to the hospital they got a hold of Lindsay, Mason’s girlfriend. She was in shock when she heard the news, she didn’t know what to do. Mason’s dad told her not to come down, but they thought she should know he will be alright.
“Will you call me when he comes to?” She asked
“Of course!” Answered Ron
“Tell him I miss him, and Ron, thanks!” Responded Lindsay
The next day Mason came home. Lindsay called and she asked if she could come over and see him. Mason said he needed some space.
“I love you more than the world itself!” he said.
“Are you okay?”
“I’ve been better, I just need to relax.”
“Okay, I love you too.”
As soon as Mason hung up the phone, his mom said he needed to tell her.
“I don’t know how.” Replied Mason, “I can’t just be like…. I have cancer. I have to time it correctly.”
“There is no right time.” Cried his mom
“Mom!” Yelled Mason, “Don’t do this!”
“Do what? Love you? I want you to be happy. You are the light of my world! I don’t know how to make you happy anymore. I want you to do what you…”
“What I, what? You want me to do what I want before I die? Is that what you were gonna say? Is it? God mom! You’re so…. just stop, stop worrying about me!” Argued Mason
“I can’t stop worrying about you, that’s like telling me not to love you. Is that what you want?” she asked.
“I’m getting out of here!”
“Where are you going?” asked his mom, “I need to know where you will be and who you will be with.”
“I will be with my friends, they won’t baby me like you do.”
Mason called up his friends Ryan, Brock, and Sal. He said he wanted to do something and he didn’t care what. They all were very worried that something was wrong and he told them he was fine. They decided to go to the mall.While they were there they ran into some of Lindsay's friends. Mason was relieved to see Lindsay wasn’t with them.
“Lindsay should be here soon!” One of them exclaimed
Oh, that’s just what I need. Thought Mason, I really don’t want to explain to her what happened yesterday. Mason and his friends walked away, as they got further away Mason looked back, when he looked back he saw Lindsay with her friends, they all were looking at him. Lindsay waved to him, he looked away like he didn’t see her.
“Dude what’s up?” asked Brock, “And I mean it, I need an answer, we all do. We’ve never seen you like this before.”
“Yeah!” They all agreed
“I can’t tell you, not here not now. Not before I tell Lindsay.” Mason protested
“Man you’ve got to tell us.” Declared Ryan “Now!”
“NO!” Shouted Mason, as he stormed away from his friends, right past Lindsay and her friends.
“Mason? Where are you going? Are you okay? Your mom called, she thought you were with me. Can we talk?” asked Lindsay
“NO!” shouted Mason a second time, this time at Lindsay. “Sorry, I mean now is not a good time. I’m fine. Don’t worry about my mom calling she’s just paranoid.”
“Paranoid? Paranoid about what? Mason? What’s going on? Should I be worried?”
“No, nothing is going on don’t worry everything’s gonna be alright.”
This went on for the next few days. Everytime Lindsay tried to call him, he didn’t answer. She would text him, asking if she could stop by, if he wanted to talk or hang out, but he never texted her or called her back. When he saw her at school he ignored her. He didn’t have any classes with her which made things a lot easier on him. All his teachers knew what was wrong but his friends and Lindsay still didn’t. This went on for a  week. Until Lindsay stopped by. Oh God! Thought Mason, this has got to be good.
Lindsay didn’t knock. She knew he was home alone. She had already called his parents to make sure. They said it would be fine if she stopped by.
“Mason what’s going on?” Lindsay demanded an answer, when Mason didn’t give one she went up to his room. She knew what ever he was hiding would be up there. Mason followed her, she tried to open his door but he got there before she could twist the doorknob.
“What are you hiding from me?” Lindsay asked in a very stern voice.
“Nothing.” Said Mason.
“Okay. Then let me in your room.” Argued Lindsay.
“NO!” Shouted Mason.
“Why not? What are you hiding in there? I need to know if I should worry.” Lindsay asked scared.
“No, you shouldn’t worry.” Mason said.
“Okay then let me in.” Lindsay demanded.
“NO!” Shouted Mason again.
“FINE!” Then,Lindsay pushed open the door. At first she was really confused, she didn’t see anything wrong. Then she saw his dresser. He had a lot of medicine containers.
“Oh God! Mason! You aren’t doing drugs, are you?!”
“WHAT?! NO! Of course not!” Exclaimed Mason.
“Then what are those?” Asked Lindsay pointing to the dresser.
“ Nothing. Don’t worry?!” Relied Mason.
“I can’t do this. You can’t do this to yourself.” Lindsay stormed out of his room in shock, darted down the stairs, but before she could leave Mason shouted, “I have cancer!”
Lindsay ran out of the house to her car and drove away. Mason tried to call her to say he was sorry, he left a bunch of voicemails till he couldn’t anymore. He also texted her, she never replied this made him feel really bad. He went to bed sick to his stomach hoping she would call him back in the morning.
All night Lindsay couldn’t sleep. She couldn’t stop thinking about their fight and what he said, about what she accused him of. She decided in the morning she will go over and see him. Maybe I will take him flowers that are as beautiful as him! She thought. She knows his parents leave at noon every saturday to go shopping, so she thought she would go over then. She called him and said she needed to talk to him
“Okay, that’s fine.” He said “I love you!”
“I love you too!” Lindsay said back in the happiest voice ever!
On her way to his house all she could think about is what a nice fall day it was and how there was nothing that could possibly go wrong! Today is the perfect day! She thought. I love the fall, it’s so peaceful and beautiful! I love watching the leaves fall off the tree. Someone said that it shows the end of something great. I thought that was beautiful but now I know what they meant. When she got to his house she knocked then walked in. He knew she was coming so he left the door unlocked.
“Mason, I’m here!” She said, “Where are you?” She ran all over the house looking for him. Finally she checked the kitchen. When she walked in she saw Mason on the floor. He’s gone she thought.

10 comments:

  1. Hey Emma!
    Byron here. Your story was powerful. The events, the characters--wow! I was so in to it the whole time, I couldn't stop reading! I'm curious about the end, though. I can assume Mason died, but why is the pantry door left open? Was Mason trying to eat something or did he die before he could get anything? Why didn't Lindsay return any of his calls when he told her about his cancer? Questions aside, I think you could clarify your ending a little more, just by adding some more detail. Otherwise, great job!
    Sincerely,
    Byron

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    Replies
    1. Byron
      I'm not sure why I chose him to die in the pantry I just wanted it yo be very surprising and no one will ever guess for someone to die there. Thanks for the great feedback!
      Emma W.

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  2. Hey Emma,
    Your story was really good, and very sad. I loved how you started your story with an intense event. This really hooked me into wanting to read more. I also really liked the dramatic irony used. How we knew Mason had cancer but the friends did not. Another thing I liked was how much dialogue you used. I just have some questions. What made you choose the title Forever? Does Mason die at the end, or is it just like what he had in the beginning? Also I just have a suggestion for you. When you are using dialogue say who is talking. I kind of got confused on some of the dialogue and who was talking. All in all your story was fantastic!
    -Wildsnowman

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    Replies
    1. Wildsnowman,
      I don't honestly know why I chose the title Forever. I guess I chose if because it seemed different especially because Mason and Linsay don't last forever. Thanks for your input I will definetly look into it!
      Emma W.

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  3. Loved your story!! The mood is constantly changing which is pretty cool. I was shocked at the end when he dies or something, and a little bit confused. So maybe elaborate a little more on that? But great Irony anyways. I liked all the great dialog in your story too. I desperately want a sequel to this piece!

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    Replies
    1. Josh,
      Sorry for the confusion in the story. The point was to end the story with people thinking about what happened. Yes he dies not in the best way but a way I thought sounded different and exciting!
      Emma W.

      Delete
  4. Wow, I really enjoyed your story. I like that you have much dialogue between the characters, which gave must tension in the story. I also like how you decided to write about a very big problem that many people deal with. You did a great job implementing the dialogue and the big problem, and this led to a fantastic story! Just one thing; you should tell us (the readers) who is talking when there is dialogue, it does get kind of confusing. Other than that, great story!

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  5. Hey Emma! Wow that story really kept you on the edge of your seat throughout! I loved the story line and the dialogue as well! It was also a really good ending. I definitely want a sequel to this! It was great how you added their thoughts to really show what they were thinking directly. I was wondering where the story takes place? And also more about the family background? A couple things I would work on would be to take out some of the voices in the story. Like when they say things to each other. It was a little confusing on who was talking at what times. Other than that, the story was amazing! Great job!
    Brooke S.

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  6. Emma,
    Your story was awesome. It was so good and so descriptive. I was on the GDR of my chair as i read your story. Everything is said well and it was just really good. I loved how sweet Mason was to Lindsey. If I had to give you a suggestion I would say when Mason yells I have cancer and you said Lindsey runs out the door I wasn't sure that she heard him or not. Until she came back to his house to find him in the end. Overall the details were great like when you said he never left the pantry open and it was great
    Leia

    ReplyDelete